so long
it's been so long i fear. i've been so caught up with moving houses that it has sapped all energy from me to do anything creative or even recreational. every day is spent cleaning, dusting, and moving more things over.
this is the first time i've ever lived away from home and ALSO the first time living with my partner. i have a fear that.. what if this doesn't work out? in a year i will be doomed to move EVERYTHING all over again. what a nightmare thought.
regardless, things are going okay so far. it has only been about a month so i think i will feel better once i settle into a groove and routine of some kind. i think right now my biggest stressors are how i am going to set up the shared closet to accommodate all of my various tshirts and then also ... a funny thing...
we have some friends 🦝🦝🦝 in the ceiling!（￣︶￣) i keep telling myself it's funny because if i don't laugh about it then i fear that i will cry lol. we pay a lot for rent because of the neighborhood and being close to his daughter's school and also because i was adamant on having my own space as well. for this to happen right off the bat is making me feel like there is some carelessness on the landlord's part. that's what i think is making me feel extra bad right now.... that we might've made a bad call and got a less-than-great landlord.
i do have a bit of the feeling where i wonder if i had just listened to my own instincts and stopped living my life for others' feelings... if i would've had these same worries. there is still, of course, a small part of me that wishes i would've just pulled the trigger and got my own studio/one bedroom... at least for a year. but i didn't and there's definitely a 5% feeling of regret and bitterness buried deep down. but i keep telling myself... i would've had to find out if we could coexist together eventually anyway, right? i mean.. we've been together nearly 9 years so.. guess it would be time to test those waters.